The School

My teenage girls have been in this school for three years now. Looking back, choosing a right secondary school was not easy for us. Both of my daughters attended different forms of primary school. My eldest daughter was from a regular public school, while my second daughter was in a private school. As a result, they are very different in character, thoughts, expression ways, habits, clothing styles and right down to their learning abilities.

Knowing their individual strengths and weaknesses, we realized we had to be careful in our selection for the best learning environment fitting them. This important decision would impact their lives, future studies and subsequently career choices.

The decision making process was complex when you have two different personalities here. We had to match their individual needs to the school. Like their learning proficiency ( what are they good at? ), their preferences in learning ( whether they learn well in a formal or not strict environment?), choices of extra-curriculum available ( all work and no play makes Jane a dull girl. ), their temperaments ( big classes can be a nightmare to some teens.). There were also worries and concerns about adaptation, learning, changes, ...exce-te-ra.

Among many considerations, our top priority was to find a school that has and practices a philosophy similar to our home philosophy and beliefs. The school must have good discipline policy, qualified teachers with high moral standing and a positive environment. The school cultural and environment must not be apart from our home beliefs and cultural. In short, I do not want to have dinner with colored haired, multi body tattooed; wearing obscene style and pierced face speaking teenagers! It is absolutely nightmare for me and being named “Ancient” is next to a stroke!

We began the tedious school hunt. Toured a few schools, heard some recommendations and took some advice. Waa-La! We are here!

Changes that cheered me had come my way within these few years, like seeing an introvert kid beginning to participate in public performances, sharing jokes at home, taking part in various activities and motivated to do well in her studies. A lazy girl seriously participating sports competitions, learning difficult Chinese and facing her weak subjects. Both girls had also learned to cook from the curriculum activities. My daughters often shared recipes with me after school. Not only had they learned life skills but more importantly the practical aspect of management. They are now capable to manage the house when I am away.

As a parent, raising teenagers is not a bed of roses. It is known that teen years are wildly unpredictable. We are constantly faced with potential and difficult problems when dealing with them. Often teenage problems encountered are school related, so it is important to stay on top of the situation before these problems arise. Choosing a right high school with the favorable learning environment is obviously important. Everything we do and decide teaches our kids something. It is up to us to decide what we want them to learn. Teaching our children no doubt started from home and undeniably furthered in school. A suitable education program with the right environment is a must in order for our teens to take the next successful step into their future development. My children have changed for the better today is not because they were born genius but rather has lots to do with the ways they were taught and guided in school.

I applaud and shout my sincere thanks to all the good teachers, mentors, motivators in school. Your tremendous effort, heart and soul commitment has made mountain of good difference to my children. Thank you.

I do not want perfect children because I will never have them. However, I do want good, happy, responsible children that love the family and appreciate the school. I am now happy to say I have them.



The End. From my kitchen table.

The Horror....(2)

"Mom, I lost some money." Daughter to mother.

"Again, did you misplace the money, how much did you lose"

"I lost RM10.0. It was in the money box when I did my accounts last week. But last night, I am short of RM10.0"

"Check you skirts and pockets, look again."

"OK"

"Could it be that you paid for some books at school or something that you might have forgotten ?"

"Ur... I check again" Daughter went upstairs.

"Mummy, I lost RM2.0 too last week." Son told mother.

The mother had been receiving the same complaints for sometime now. The eldest daughter had mentioned money lost plus her other belongings. The complains seemed to be more frequent since secondary school. The mother used to think that it was childish carelessness, after all children do unintentionally lose things. She used to think the eldest was being absent minded,but lately her son began to report lost money too.

When the children were in school, the mother sat quietly and began to reminisce. She recalled all the findings in the stepdaughter's bag . Could her suspicion be right? The mother tried to fight the horrible thought. The mother's mind began to race, sourcing for clues she might have carelessly overlooked through the years.....

The Beginning of...the Horror..(1)

"Where did you get this pen?"

" My friend gave it to me."

" Who's the friend ?"

"mmm...." silent

After 20 mins, " Who's the friend?"

"mmm...." Blank staring.

After another 20 mins

" If I were you , I speak the truth."

"What's the friend's name?"

Another 15 mins of silence

"Can you tell me the name ?"

"Who is the friend ?"

" I forgot to tell you, I think you bought this pen for me"

" When did i get the pen for You ?"

" 2 months ago."

' You just said the pen is from your friend.? "

"Mmmm... ,,,"

As the mother started to raise her vocal with the last question, the air became tense.

This was a typical scene of uncounted and unnumbered times of lying and constant silence deny.The tussle between mother and daughter. The enquiry would last 30 mins and the mother would never get the answer and know the truth.

The mother often found strange items in her daughter's school bags.....candy wrappers, sweets...pens,...rules..rubbers..more pens,,,and more coloured papers, ..picture write books...

The mother did not recall purchasing these items for the child. She was thinking, where did she get them ..???? After a month of observation and late night checking the school bag when no one was around, the mother could not hold her silence anymore.

Before she tabled the questions, the mother noted the pocket money given to the daughter each day . To know the truth better, she provided the daughter with a lunch box (rice +3 dishes) to ensure her daughter did not go hungry in school together with RM2.50.

After one week of late night scavenging her daughter's school bag, she discovered the total "goods" (like pens,,,sweet wrappers,rulers....cute note books...coloured pens) was more than the daily RM 2.50 given . The mother started to be inquisitive, where did her daughter get the money to buy all the "goods"?

....Human Nature....

To Love and to protect, are the basic instincts of a Mother. In the animal kingdom, the mothers are the saviours and protectors of their cubs and babies. I suppose the role of a mother is simpler in the animal kingdom. Human mothers not only shares the good times of their love ones but also shoulder complex pains, endless responsibilities, hardships and unhappiness of the family. Sometimes our effort are appreciated and good names are given to us and at times, we are also being termed bad. Many adjectives are used to describe mothers, sadly one of them is Selfish. Today I understand why mothers are known as such. I think we do it because this is an inborn instinct, it is our duty to protect , to ensure the well being , healthy growth of our young. It was never ill intended.

If you have a teenage stepdaughter who likes to steal and lie , do you run around town exposing her? Do you go to school and tell all her teachers and friends? If this is the solution, any mother will do it. I did otherwise. I worked hard , tried every avenue to help her to kick the stealing and lying. Taught her the good rope, the positive understanding of life, shower unconditional love, always giving her the best, providing a stable home environment, teach her the values of honesty, moral beliefs, attending motivational camps, .....etc.

I am selfish for not letting others know the truth about her bad ways. I thought with constant love and care, given time she will change. My child would realize that lying and stealing has no place in her life and in our home. I did it because deep down inside I have a hope, a hope that she will and can be a better person.

Right

Sometimes it is hard to make a decision. Not knowing whether its always the right decision. It is up to us to make it right. Facing difficult times and numerous hardship is in our daily lives. Each moment comes with its challenge...trying our patience, perseverance, determination, love....etc ..Sticking to our decision when facing obstacles, criticism, disheartening cruel remaks often takes every ounce of our effort ..to make Right happen...being right is never easy.....I believe when the best intention, heart and soul effort is exerted and that you have done your very very best, you have already being darn well Right ! Thou shall not fear making decisions, if you do, always make it a right one. Life is short , one shall not live in regrets and misery.